You made 5 promises 60 million dollars ago. What are these 5
Promises and are they really that powerful?
As a young nurse, I saw other nurses around me who were burned out and frustrated. I wanted a different future. To create a new career I developed the 5 Promises. These tools carried me from a simple idea to the creation of a new industry – legal nurse consulting, and a multi-million dollar company. But even more important than the millions, is the fact that I’m living a passionate life and helping thousands of women transform their lives. Which brings me to the first of the 5 Promises – to live and work a passionate life. I still make that promise to myself every day.
Your success story sounds too good to be true. Can women really expect this type of financial success when starting a business?
It didn’t happen overnight. I did it one project and one client at a time. I had $100 in my bank account and lived on tuna sandwiches to make it happen. This is where the second promise is so important. Go for it or reject it outright. You can’t make this type of commitment without being completely sure of yourself and your goals. If you are second guessing or not willing to take the risk, walk away and reorganize. For anyone out there who is thinking of starting their own business, the keys are keeping your vision vividly in focus and eliminating anything that doesn’t serve you in pursuing your passions.
In your new book, Inside Every Woman you talk about 10 Feminine Forces. Why are they so important?
Women already possess these forces. And by recognizing their power they are armed with a secret weapon in the business world and daily life. For example, Agility. Women handle unexpected change and the demands of family and career gracefully. They’re not thrown by getting up at 2:00am in the morning or by 10 things coming at them at once, they’re used to it – it doesn’t ruin their day. That flexibility is why female managers are so successful. Another force is Genius. The secret to a woman’s genius is collaboration. I watched a group of male CEOs compete with their homemaker wives at a brain game. The men lost miserably because they failed to collaborate. Yet the women came together immediately. It was natural.
How does today’s woman juggle family demands and society’s expectations, and still have a satisfying career?
That’s the million-dollar question. My motto is women CAN do anything – NOT women SHOULD do everything. I think this is the greatest dilemma we’re facing. Women need to stop being commitment queens and shed the guilt. Learn to say NO. I’ve found it’s the most powerful word in the dictionary. By just saying NO, you can begin a satisfying life and career by owning your time. By refusing to commit to every person or cause that comes along, there is a new freedom to achieve your goals, not theirs. The YES is for your priorities. Only say YES when it works within the balance of your career, family and personal activities.
Within the last 20 years we’ve identified societal obstacles to women seeking to succeed in certain professions or businesses. Have things really changed?
The business world is opening for women, but all the obstacles have not magically disappeared. There are still issues of childcare and the glass ceiling. Women must take responsibility for their own future. And over 15 million women have done just that by becoming business owners. For many, their solution was to create their own model for success. But this path is not for every woman. I urge women to decide on a plan and take action. Which leads me to the third promise – take one action step a day toward your passionate vision. Whether you plan to grow within the corporate structure or start your own business, you must do something every day to get closer to that goal.
How can a woman become the CEO of her own life?
Actually women are already CEOs. From managing finance to entertainment and even "janitorial detail," women have been running their family company for decades and getting little credit. It’s time to act like a CEO and take charge of YOUR life. A CEO expects a payoff for every business venture. When women take on new ventures, they should ask "What’s the payoff?" Is it monetary? Is it good for my spirit? Will it help my position at work or at home? The profit need not be in cash but there needs to be a payoff.
You’ve trained and mentored thousands of women. What are the most important factors in determining whether they succeed or fail?
Success is not determined solely by IQ, experience or good looks. The women who succeed are those who believe in themselves, take calculated risks and put action behind their passion every step of the way. They also continue learning on a daily basis…or better said, they commit to being a success student for life. This is one of the most important of my 5 Promises. By really listening to successful mentors and even weighing the messages from your adversaries, valuable lessons are learned.
Why do you think some women put off their personal goals…even for an entire lifetime?
They’re not making themselves a priority and taking the risks to reach their goals. My mom always wanted to travel. The Eiffel Tower, Big Ben, the Sistine Chapel – she planned on traveling the world. Then she met my dad and said, "When we have enough money, we’ll travel." Then she had children, and she said, "When the kids are grown and out of the house, we’ll travel." Well the kids were finally out of the house but at age 48 she was diagnosed with breast cancer and died. Her death taught me that the time is now. When I’m afraid to take a risk, I honor her by asking, "What’s the worst that can happen?" This has been my mantra for years. All women are worthy of taking a risk and honoring themselves.
Women often give up on their personal goals when they experience a major setback – illness, financial problems, divorce. How can they overcome that setback to find a way to success?
I’ve mentored women with every one of these setbacks. They succeeded despite those obstacles by remembering and focusing on the strengths they still had. The key is renewing your life plan, recommitting to realistic strategies and taking action every day. Nothing neutralizes the pain of a setback better than action. You should make your own decisions and shrug off all restrictions, including any bad advice from well-meaning friends and family. Your goals may need to be slightly altered based on new challenges, but should be no less audacious than those of any other woman.
Vickie, you propose women should network with and nurture each other, suggesting they form groups that you call Female Fusion. How does this work?
First let’s take networking out of the equation. It’s an overrated term. Female Fusion is much more than that. In my book, I explain in detail that a Fusion is an organized gathering of a small number of women who challenge and support each other in reaching specific individual goals. Women crave intimate relationships with each other. It’s been scientifically proven that such connections are one of the reasons we live longer. The Fusion group provides safety to discuss risk and rewards. Which leads to the last of my 5 Promises. Believe that as a woman you really can do anything. Forget your book club and start your life club. It’s fusion that will help you believe and achieve.
You say to women: be your own number one fan. Why is this so important?
Announcing your achievements validates the choices people have made on your behalf. The bosses who promoted you want to know they bet on a winner. In working with both men and women, here’s my experience: Men overrate themselves and women underrate themselves. Your husband says, "Hey, honey, I washed the dishes." You’re thinking, "Big deal, I just had a baby." If you don’t announce your achievements, who will? Do it with humility but don’t let your accomplishments go unnoticed. When you nail a big project or win an award, let the right people know. When you’ve kept to your budget or repaired the leaky faucet, make sure your family cheers you on.
So when did you know you made it?
One evening, crammed in my tiny home office, while I was packing the day’s business away, my eye fell on a huge frame on the wall with a million dollar bill that my husband had hung as a surprise. He was celebrating my first million-dollar year in sales. That was the moment it hit me, "I’ve made it! Why am I packing and unpacking my office on my kitchen table every day? I can afford office space."
Can you briefly describe your business and how it grew from your home office to a multimillion-dollar company?
As a nurse with six years of experience, I knew a registered nurse would be the ideal professional to interpret medical records in legal cases. My new career as a legal nurse consultant not only gave me financial freedom but allowed me to work from home. When I got my first attorney-client and saw what a difference I could make, I knew I was onto something big. This secret was too good to keep and I had to bring this new profession to nurses across the country. Prior to creating my company, there was no formal training program. I had to learn it the hard way. Through Vickie Milazzo Institute I have trained more than 13,000 nurses as CM (CLNC®s) since I pioneered this industry in 1982. I love hearing from my graduates that they are earning in excess of $200,000/year. To give women that level of financial success is my biggest reward.
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